Live with Love, Truth, and Excellence

Light Up Every Room You Walk Into Part IV – A Definite Purpose

A woman on a mission, a woman with a vision, a woman with intention. We know her when we see her. We feel it when we are here. 

Clarity of purpose and mission organizes your effort.

The things you say, do, and the energy you exude becomes naturally in alignment. It becomes less of something to strive for and more of something be in flow with. Not to say there won’t be challenging times or moments to calibrate. It’s just something that you create versus strive for. It’s something you allow versus make happen. It’s something you know versus wish for. 

One comes from a place of already knowing and being enough, the other comes from a place of having something to prove. The latter inherently draws upon more energy because in it you are fighting the current moment and yourself. Over time this is exhausting.

Trusting, knowing, flowing, allows you to be carried, allows you to flow with the undercurrent of destiny beneath you.  

In everything you do, have a definite purpose — one that is grounded in love, truth, and excellence.  

When grounded in love, truth, and excellence really not much can go wrong. Even if it doesn’t look the way you wanted it to; it will still be fine and possibly perfect. A definite purpose allows you to remain connected to your vision, it creates a knowing when the egoic confidence wavers, it creates an assurance in moments of doubt, it anchors you in a way that can never be given nor taken away. 

A definite purpose is two fold – it holds an energy that you can feel and a vision that you can see. It is spiritual and physical. This is an important distinction. It can be tempting to move in the direction of one without the other. They are both necessary — the spiritual manifests and the physical gives form. We live in a physical world and providing form to what we know and feel creates another level of clarity in the communication. 

The physical may change over time and that is fine. Start somewhere and master that. The essence of you will always be there. 

Creating Your Definite Purpose 

There is so much work out there on defining, finding, and figuring out your life purpose and definite purpose. It is a valuable and necessary thing to do.

Here are a couple of sources if you would like to try what is out there:

Jean HoustonOprah, and Deepak Chopra


The advice here is to remember. You already know and if you feel like you don’t it’s because you’ve told yourself it’s only a hope or a dream. You somewhere along the lines lost hope, thought it wasn’t possible, and confusion now clouds what is already present.

I know, because I’ve taken that journey – a few times. I’ve known since I was at least 15, probably before. I knew clearly – spiritually and physically – since I was in my mid-twenties. I’ve succeeded, I’ve failed, I’ve forgotten, I’ve been in the mirk of confusion and indecision (not fun), and I’ve remembered. 

Today put aside all could’ves, would’ves, should’ves, it’s too lates, I’m not ready’s and it’s not possible.

And just tell me…write to me, write to yourself, write to a best friend, to someone you’ve never met before and always wanted to me…just write and tell your heart’s deepest desires.

Write for five minutes and let your heart hold the pen. 

(Optional and recommended – Dance for 10 and laugh for five before you begin. )

Read it back to yourself and remember what you’ve known all along. Keep this close. Read it everyday. Let it speak to you in different ways. And allow your definite purpose to unfold. You may begin to recognize it’s been there all along. All you have to do, is step into it.  

C.R.E.A.T.E. – Cultivate Reality Embodied As (Your) Truest Expression 


Stop trying to make sense of everything…


This one is for the over-educated, over thinkers. You know who you are.  

Do you try and make sense of everything? I know I’m guilty of it. I try to make sense of everything. It’s part of the gift and the curse of being over-educated. We’re taught to analyze, to make sense of things, to create structure, to put things in their place. It creates order, it creates workability, it leads to results. 

What about the parts of life that aren’t supposed to make sense. Dating, Family, Why you hair look perfect yesterday and you did the same thing today and it looks crazy, spiritual growth. Are these things that are to be made sense of?  

That’s a rhetorical question. Something more for contemplation than answering. 

The well-trained engineer in me, says, yes of course. Why wouldn’t it. Find a process that works, duplicate it, and create repeatable results. Makes sense, right?

The right-brained lefty in me, is like but is it that simple? Is everything black and white? Aren’t there at least 50 shades of gray? (No, I haven’t read the books. Though I heard it was like soft-porn, is that true?!). Anyway, I digress. My point is what if instead of making since of everything we created an intentional flow. 

I know making sense of things allows us to feel in control, then we feel like we have a handle on things, we can manage it, it’s just easier when we can wrap our head around it. However, it’s not always that simple. And when it’s not we drive ourselves crazy trying to do so!

The late night conversations with our girlfriends trying to figure out what went wrong or rolling over in our bed trying to figure out what that email from earlier today meant. It all stems from machinery bathed in fear. The machinery is trying to make sense of it all, so you can feel safe again. 

The solution is simple: Release the thought. Let it go. Surrender it to a higher knowing. And Trust. 

Anytime you get into the frame of mind where it’s right or wrong, good or bad…you’re analyzing. As useful as this is it doesn’t come from a place of flow and creativity. Once you release the judgment, a weight is lifted and a huge amount of energy is released. It takes energy to live in fear, anxiety, and worry. 

When that energy is released you are freed up to CREATE

Cultivate Reality Embodied As (Your) Truest Expression

You don’t have to make sense of it. Just CREATE 

We’re always creating at some level, just ensure you create from your truest and highest expression. 

Photo Credit: Byron Katie’s Twitter, @ByronKatie 


Bursts of Energy that Catalyze Your Growth: Soul Hurdles

Soul-hurdles are bursts of energy used to to shift the life occurrences, situations, or experiences that used to hold you back. We use mini-hurdles to activate the internal work to shift the external in a way that serves us. 

Translation: Mix it up! Shift the energy, open your heart, let your mind follow, and be open to possibility. 

I call this process “hurdles” because at first it may feel like an energy burst. That initial moment, may feel like you have to exert a little or a lot of extra energy to get up the nerve, to find the courage, to release the thought, to whatever, and just do it! However once you take that leap and jump the hurdle it feels easier. Like you could do it again. And each time you do it, it’s easier and easier. Then it becomes a part of your natural process. 

You only have to jump one and each time you jump your soul opens up a little more —  allowing a truer version of you to shine through.

Here are 14 Soul-hurdles you may want to jump. Choose one that works for you. Some on this list may totally speak to you while others may already be a part of your routine. Choose the one that scares you.

  1. Ask for what you want?
  2. Say no to what you don’t want
  3. Put yourself first
  4. Get a deep tissue massage and don’t feel guilty afterwards
  5. Share your deepest, truest desires with someone you love
  6. Eat dessert first
  7. Laugh out Loud
  8. Take a dance class
  9. Meditate
  10. Eat dessert without feeling guilty
  11. Make love
  12. Go to the movies by yourself
  13. Travel
  14. Change your look (cut your hair, try a new lipstick color) 

Holding Back

Breaking old patterns that once kept you safe and now hold you back

Do you have any patterns in your life that you are holding you back? Patterns around dating, your finances, new friendships, or jobs. An area of your life that is replicated itself in an undesired cycle.

You may realize that around the six month mark with a guy things always shift. Maybe every time you begin a new job, you start off super excited and around the third or fourth month you begin to feel drained and overworked. You may notice that your savings account never passes a certain limit, before you have to dip into it. 

A client of mine recently noticed a pattern around her money habits. The pattern started with her realizing her financial situation was not what she wanted it to be. She wanted a higher credit score, to pay off debt, and to create more financial stability. She would get into action and take the steps to get her finances in order. A few months later everything would be on the ups — she started to see positive results, her credit score was going up, and she had access to more lines of credit. Then something would shift and another few months later she would be back where she started. Can you relate? (or is it just me?!)

I call this a keeping pattern. Because it is designed to keep you in your where you are, in your comfort zone, “in your lane”, and keep you from interrupting the status quo. Basically it’s holding you back. Even though you know the actions to take in order to shift your finances (lose weight, find a nice guy, do well in your business), you don’t. You start, do better, see results, and then everything goes out of the window. 

Any area of your life where you notice a cycle that has you back in the same place you started after months even years of work, a keeping pattern may be at play.

I know for me, there is a serious keeping pattern (that I am in the process of breaking) around my weight. I work hard lose weight, get super healthy and fit, reach a certain level (not quite where the ultimate goal) and then fall back. It’s like everything I know and live by goes out of the window until I gain the weight back. Then the good habits kick back in until I get back to that magical weight I can’t go beyond (in this case under) and it happens again — always keeping me at the same level in my weight conversation. Fluctuating yet not transcending and truly creating what I desire. 

I recently became super present to this and how it plays out. This is why they say a food journal and any journal for that matter is so helpful. It allows you to see yourself and notice what you were doing, thinking, or feeling when the shift occurred.

If there is an area of your life that has not grown the way you would like a number of things may be at play:

1. You are actually more committed to it staying the same than risking growth

2. You have an internal barometer that has been programmed to keep you at that level (e.g. A money barometer)

3. You believe at some level that you don’t deserve what you truly want 

Lasting change begins within.  

You can learn how to do all the right things to create new results (which is great!).

Always begin within.  

Your internal set points must also shift to allow for growth. Especially if your up to something big in your life, which I know many of you are. This is why hiring a coach, having a mentor, or even an accountability buddy that can see you an call you out is so key. 

You must notice the shifts in emotions, thoughts, and perspective as you begin to repeat a cycle you no longer desire. As you become aware of them, you can begin to jump what I call soul-hurdles 

Soul-hurdles are bursts of energy used to to shift the life occurrences, situations, or experiences that used to hold you back. We use mini-hurdles to activate the internal work to shift the external in a way that serves us. You only have to do one hurdle at a time and each time you jump one your soul evolves; allowing a truer version of you to shine through. 

You should try to jump three a day, it’s fun!

In the meantime for the inner work — Here is a morning ritual I use to anchor myself when I am in the midst of an intense growth phase. 

Each morning when you wake up, before you get out of bed:

1. Roll over and smile

2. Take a deep breath of gratitude for being awake and for the amazing day ahead of you

3. Drop into your body (which should be easier first thing in the morning) and notice any sensations you may have. You may feel hungry, a little thirsty, there may be a sensation in your left shoulder, or in your lower back. Just scan the body for any sensations and notice it without judging.

4. With a deep exhale release any tension or stressful thoughts you may have been holding on to

5. Imagine a shower of white light covering your body and shifting any blocked energy

6. Envision something you are creating in your life as already done. See it, feel it, and taste it. 

7. Get anchored in your core values and set a powerful intention for the day

8. Get up and get to it!

This ritual though simple, quick, and easy over time begins to release old patterns as they are replaced with a new sense of freedom and possibility.  


Getting Naked

That Old Cloth that’s Keep You From Having the Life You Want

Ever have an old cloth – hand cloth, wash cloth. One that you know you should’ve thrown away a long time ago,  but still haven’t. The one, when it comes down to it, when all the other ones are used, you reach in the back of the closet and pull it out. It’s the default. Just cause it’s still there and you haven’t taken the time to throw it away. 

You no longer like it, you would never give it to a guest if they came to visit, or better yet even let them see that you still have it. All it’s counterparts are now gone. You think, maybe you can make it a rag for cleaning day. But in those moments when all is left, you default to it, partially with a little guilt, partially with a little relief that it’s still there – able to be used.

It’s harmless, isn’t it?  

Isn’t it?!

It’s just like that thing in your life that you haven’t completely let go of. You fall on it when all else fails. It becomes a crutch that curbs your growth. It’s the habit that causes you to only loose a certain amount of weight and then plateau. It’s the guy that you keep around for when your bored or want a last minute date. It’s the dress you really don’t like but it fits, so you keep it.

None of them are terribly harmless. Are they? 

They’re just not what you want. It fills your closet, your time, your mind, your refrigerator with what you don’t want. 

When we fill our life with things we don’t want. We begin to have a life filled with things we don’t want…

Then complaining begins to creep in, maybe some resignation, and what’s after that?! It’s like a slow leak. Something you gotta monitor and sometimes starts out small; next thing you know your floor is a flooded mess. You gotta clean it up, disinfect, get the problem fixed, and pray nothing got ruined in the entire process.

Don’t let that happen to you. Let it go, handle it, nip it in the bud. If it’s already happened clean it up, let it go, handle it, and nip it in the bud. 

Let go or those washcloths, dresses, men, jobs, thoughts, beliefs, and habits that no longer serve you. Release all the judgement around it too. This is not an opportunity to make yourself wrong and go on a judging spree here. Be happy with the awareness and take a little time each day to release, de-clutter, create new habits, thoughts, and beliefs that fill your life with more of what you want. You’ll thank yourself for it later. 

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